pretendence, bt not negligence

So its discussion today.. whether its wkend or next wk.

At the beginning, it was for my sake, about my weekends being spent wif family. So she told me we could make it next mon if possible, then i replied wif 1 day wif them is ok.. besides, she told me push the celebration to mayb tis wkend.. so i took it for real.

2nd msg came..
She might not b able to make it, coz of some matters n i only knew of them after i spoke to her on msn. Sat she has plans to go support her fren at the superstar whilst sun, to buy her hp wif daddy.. Then it reminded me of this past incident at topshop, wher she told me i dun hav 2 stay wif her, when i told her it was alrit, i dun hav much to see, she told me i din get the point.. Is ther a need to beat ard the bush? besides, tis little ting lead to how she tinks of me in her life.. so unimportant.

3rdly, postphoning this date..
From wed, she pushed it to tis wkend coz of the funeral procedures, n on her bday itself, she went clubbing.. then wkends r shifted to mon n it doesnt seem at all necessary afterall. After all my efforts, my plans n when she asked me wat will we b doin? wher wil we b goin? suddenly i was dumbfounded, tis plan actually has no substance at all, its a sucky plan, everyting i planned for her isnt goin 2 b wat i promised; i wanted tis time to b different.. No that isnt goin 2 happen.

BUT

I pretended.. pretended to sound so natural when i told her everyting's plan, n its a secret.. deep inside it was lies. i lied to myself, she cancelled the date coz of the funeral n ther she was clubbing, tt didnt feel gd to me, bt am nt sure if i told her night is ok, n anyway, it is stil her life, how she wan to spend her day.. So i concealed the fact i was reli jealous, disturbed, unsatisfied, unimportant, yes.. unimportants' reli hurting.. how tis date was postphoned over n over..

*sighs..
It was suppose to b someting.. yet, nothin seems to b the beta alternative.

So i took up courage n told her monday is fine.. we arranged n, shld b catching a movie, dine at chjimes, present(e last jigsaw piece n a letter).. Then, i'l pass her the present the next morning. It consist of the whole puzzle broken down into 5 sections placed inside the box, n the whole frame.. i tink no breakfast tis time, both of my hands will b tied.. bt we'l go for breakfast..

i do hope i'l b ther when she open the puzzle, n together, place it into the frame.