We 'CANT' go back..

Yup! I'l do it.. Bend on it, stick to it.. My resolution.

It just came earlier on yest, 1 May. I was sitting in the pantry room at work, tinkin n pondering wats taking val so long to reply?

Its been a day, no lesser. Said she was bz.. n i replied that msg, stil the phone did not respond. I waited. waited n tot.. kept tinking.

enlightenment suddenly struck my head. Y was i waiting so much for her? i mean, am i that desperate for her msg? all i'l get is juz sry i was bz. Thats redundant. i dun need that kind of empathy.

So i sent her another, tellin her about its alrit if u din reply, anyway bout tis thurs, was wondering if u could make it. Then everything didnt sounded imp anymore. I remisence the girls accumulated at the back of my head, judy, joey, mel, val.. all these n mayb somemore that i wanted to patch back, n mayb ther will b a chance of reoccurance.

This tot juz disappeared. I tot about the taka girl immediately. Move on i told myself. Embrace urself for u hav waited tis long, juz go for it. bout the other girls, their 'past'. Their non-existance n u'l only put urself into shit by tryin 2 salvage matters. Yes i said. Am going to do it..

Mayb its the many things i hav to do that gave me courage. I'v got 2 get back the refugees pants, go settle score wif my poly lect, collect the robe for grad.. I hate these kind of things, unfinished business.. Yup, 1 less of it is waiting for val. Am not waitin for her msg anymore. Y shld i..

'Phantom of e opera', me alike.

Lol.. Phantom of the opera was like the previous sunday, 22/4/07, bt am writing tat account now. Probably i picked up some new happy times, went to see val n toked wif joc.

Bout the play.

It was TERRIFIC. Excellent stage works that live u wondering how it is actually managed n by the time u'v figure it out, another amazing thing will yet to b displayed, n u'l nev get enough of it. So jus sit down, relax n enjoy. Effects, performance n it has life experiences like fire, the chandalier crashing, pretty afew more.. The singing was astonishing, exactly duplicated from the CD itself, the only bad thing was Christine wasnt pretty enuf, lol.. There i bought a keychain n a mug. The keychain was planned to b given to val for her bday, even thou she didnt rmber mine n hence not wishing me, i'l stil get her this just bcoz she loves 'Phantom of the Opera'.

Now about current affairs.

Simply, rocky.
that night i chatted wif val n it left me reli delighted, lik hope was everywher.. I msged her coz i didnt wan it to end, n she also had the same feelings.. But the following days got me frustrated.. Msges came days later n she didnt even call me when she was supposed too. Said it was too late n didnt wan to wake me up, its tis kind of things u see, that i end up argueing wif her. Calling is wat normal ppl will do coz the other party will definitely slp abit later, waiting for the phone call but nooo.. No calls. Nvm. i knw she's lik this thats y i didnt take it into consideration. Then the msges.. Always apologizing, admitting she's sry bcoz she was too bz wif her stuff.. JUST wat stuff? Msging is a simple n needless to say, non-time consuming thing to do, u got 2 take a whole day n reply the msg only the following? Its ridicules. I keep getting angry over all these, bt i also keep planning on comin out wif her. Everything is about her, her her, sacrifices.. Sometimes its just better to just give in. Thats wat all those guys ard her are doin also.. She has plenty of guys i knw, bt how can they b compared to my love n sacrifices for her? we'v known each other for YRS! Its just 1 fuked up matter about myself. Am beginning to feel impotent. I suck at this n all these efforts will go to waste coz in the end, she stil has so many guys under her feet n wat am i now? a shit.

Now this goes back to myself. There's nobody, nobody nobody nobody! Emo emo emo.. Am getting crazy wif all these nonsense. Jt's got ivy, staying happily n enjoying their sweet times at mouse's place. Mouse has got a god-sis, reli lovely n his getting to knw alot of girls. Syl has got a gf n tts his life. Me? Am stil trying other ways to chase val. hahahaha.. Does tis sound reli enlightening? I find life so thrilling, i do.