Haven been determined ever in my life, choosing btn tossing myself out of bed n recuperating my inner self after yest's hard day. Work out, jog and a morning reminisent of how active i was in sec sch. tt's becoz i haven failed 2.4 before, n wat was 2.4 actually? OMg.. now i'v fallen into their hands.
*Wishes.. Gota pass tis test now.. But am not sure if i wan to take it on wed or fri. pounder pounder..
Hows life?
Pretty interesting.. I lik the fact am working n earning $ for myself. Still, i'v plans to giv up allowance n work myself way up, mayb drop a penny or 2 for house fees.. And i'v stayed twice at mouse buddy's place, it felt reli nice n comfortable la, lik a new kind of experience n i lik it.. Still i plan to stay ther for awhile after i quit my job in may, n tt's his holi as well.. So i b some kind of hindrance, haha..
I'v been quite into little leisures lik leg massage, reading calvin n hobbes, slping n resting.. Just give me a break that kind of ting?? haha.. Stil, i broke some record of not using the labby, its kinda amazing! I actually changed my hobby, i changed me.
But 1 ting left unchanged, my scout for the girl of my dreams.. Its quite straightforward i lik girls lik valarie, her looks, char n dressing.. She's amazing i knw, n she's not the 1 am looking for, i knw tat too. Surprisingly i'v stopped my connection from val, now am juz tryin not to bring her up. The memoirs we had are surpassing, i remember every single detail crystal clear, so definitely it'l disrupt my center of tots. Thinkin bout it, i actually wanted to write a review of watever happened, from the 1st time we met at the stadium to the times at her place, my place, when we were together, n finally that unforgettable night. That was the last straw. I'v given up her place.
Soooo.. Am juz waiting for tis wonderful n admirable girl to appear, tis time am quite certain i'l keep her properly. Giving up on Val b4 has been the biggest mistake of my life. No more reoccurance n pain n hurt n 'gone forever' that shit again.. Its also 1 of my bday wishes, lol!
Ahhh.. Happy birthday to me! Or rather belated. Didnt make it in time on the 16th march.
Anyway tis yr was spend goin sentosa wif unexpectedly, 2 of my friends ONLY.
Yea, rather relaxing day, whole day was w/out plan n we did wat we felt. So i came from mouse place tis morning, to pack my stuff n recieve a sudden call from Syl, asking me if i had any plans? Just nice, he went to the swimming pool nearby which is closed due to renovations, n mouse n myself are goin sentosa to tan.
Then we took a cab n trust me, i reli regretted that idea. Shldnt hav alighted at bishan to flag a cab, we would hav got there faster if we had taken the train. And when we got there, we tried out the new service they got ther, the TRAM! haha.. Got to siloso, took pics, sun tan, met 2 girls, slack n got back. So coincidencely Syl was looking for a phone to buy too.
The 2 of them stayed at Vivo while i carried on my way to cwp for my family dinner.
And during the dinner, i casually asked them if they were stil getting the phone for me? n my dad keep asking for compromises.. I mean, i volunteered to pay my own bills provided they get me the phone, if not i get the phone n they cont the bills.
I volunteered. Then my dad made it sound lik i had to pay it in the 1st place. So watever la.. I'l pay i'l pay..
And i juz came back from the movie 'Stomp The Yard'.
Pretty cool movie. Was expecting rather a simple n direct to the point plot but the show surprised me a little. It wasnt that simple afterall.. They hav nice music, cool moves n soul searchings. Worth watching n remembering.
Been so lowly, spendin all the hours standing, making tat bit of cash, n watching the ppl wif $ goin about. Status & cash, when everyone else are also fellow human. But tis MONEY moves the world ard. Life's unfair, get used to it.. Those richies, they enjoy n get everything they wan, they do wat they like n
Life's unfair, get used to it.
Spending my hrs standing, enduring the pain, serving, pleasing them jus to put that little $$ into my pocket.
Life's harsh, pathetic little beings.
Money moves the world ard. Those rich ass, doing wat they like, getting wat they wan. Of coz there are many many scenerios, for the more unfortunate 1's, they come from hardship.. Those lucky bastards, just enjoying the riches of wat life can offer..
Yea i understand. Wyn (supervisor) always tell me be satisfied wif ur life. U nev knw wat those ppl are suffering. Its true. But at least they get to have a taste of wat richness can offer bt we cant, n we die just like that. I cant say how much pain i, amongst the little 1's, are made to suffer.
Ahhhh.. The miseries in life.
Anyway i got my grade today, n it was hell of a fuked up. I got lik 2 Bs, 2 C+ n 1 D+. My D+? was my fyp, which we got a gold award. Its not lik i fuking din do anything, i made sacrifices n even offered help, bt it was them who din need me, n y din i join them at the start? coz TOH (teacher-in-charge) put me into another project, n then he scraped it off w/out telling me. That was the 1st fuk move, now he gav me a D+, 2nd fuk move. Seriously i'v got the urge to kill him, bt i knw i wun, its juz those very full of hatred thing..
And our fund. We were promised to get back every single cent we put in after the project is being done. It was done in dec n i haven got my cash back since yet. We trusted u u knw? we sacrificed, we unselfishly took out our $ n i stil got reprimanded by my mum for being slow n inefficient. We went back to TOH, n he did the 3rd fuked up move.. He said there was no evidence we put in $. lik wat the FUCK la, we handed the invoice directly to u, if u lost it or someting, watever u shld fuking say so.. rather then putting us out, stil having to go down personally to claim back our rightful $$.. U dun have the time u tink we do? So fuked up.
Anyway bout the results i got back today? My mum reprimanded me, saying i shld hav put in more effort in studying rather then playing my computor games. Pls.. i was addicted in the 3rd yr, not the 1st 2.. Farthermore it was more of i din wan to study coz i only tot of getting it down rather then not studying.. But my dad surprised me today. He fought for me, telling me its ok. I told him i got 2.1/4. Its juz a 1% pass.. And he said it was ok. At least i got a pass. Then i told him i cant get into Uni. N he replied wif at least its beta than my bro who doesnt even hav a cert. Then awhile later after my bath, he came to me n asked if mummy wasnt happy.. Ya i said. N comfortingly, he told me mummy's expectations are higher bt at least u pass ok..
Still recently, he kept asking about this phone i had in mind, suddenly i felt the love the close 1's are giving me. Its nice.
Events start to expose itself to an unnecessary work of extraordinary time management, above all, the pain from my contary human partners.
The Wallet. Heaven knws wat task they had for me. Fancy taking my wallet away from me when i needed it most, n giving me responsibilities, or u can call them tasks, to retrieve my lost items. And when everything is rdy.. They say, ok.. after u have emptied the box.. Put the items back. My wallet was returned.
Today, (9th of march, a friday) I left home early for napfa, which i failed bcoz of my 2.4km. thats fuked, got to redo all bcoz of that, n make another trip down, bt nvm. i got to go down as well, to retrieve my password for my 1-napfa booking, 2-my results, 3-graduation. After that, i alighted at Amiralty to make a police report so i could get my admin card replaced. Next, i alighted at Sembawang to make my ezlink. Then i headed down to lavender station to get my ic done. Ther, i told them the senerio n they treated it as a case of theft. So in all, it took lik 1hr plus.. I had nothin to do, n since i was so near to Judy's work place, i decided to drop by, mayb to play afew games of pool to see her standard. But it didnt happened, i was ther, yes i was.. Bt she cldnt play. Then she started to tell me bout other guys n watever ok? Am not interested.. thats ur problem, u leave it to urself to bother bout them. Since u nev listened to mine, y shld i carry on wif urs?
By then, i was reli bored, depressed, alone, all at 1 go. I felt at the moment 'Wats so interesting bout living?' Anyway, then a thought came to my mind.. Watch a movie alone. Tis was wat michelle suggested, n yea.. i was thinking of doing it in cwp.. So on my way there, mouse called. Ok.. We'r out again, finally somebody is here..
Leo's. It started slowly with Judy having to give me the cold shoulder. Its lik i shld mean something to her, bt she would rather take leaves off or go out with other frens, that makes me feel unimportant. On another note, she's juz lik val. They give me tis out burst of emotional feelings but the funny thing is, we dun hav much to communicate about.
My problem with them is they lik tokin bout their own subjects, n they dun giv a heap about wat u try to say. Alrit, i take it to another level, i listen to wat they have to say n tok in terms of that, then again, their replies are monotanious. Its boring. When we msg, its boring too. No matter how hard i try to improve, giving in to them, toking about more interesting affairs regarding myself, or them.. It doesnt work.
Guys. Then i go on to more basic stuff lik msging lionel, sms text him, msn text.. No response, lik wtf la.. Watever k.. All my other guy friends have lik DISAPPEARED. Only mouse is visible. Almost everyweek i see him twice, n its nice la.. Everytime we meet, we either go mutt's place or catch a movie or have dinner or even both. This is worth bringing up. For the rest, i'v got nothin to comment about. Just that, its my bday next wk, n mouse will surely b coming, as for Jt, Mutt, Syl, Ant, Tts.. Am not sure.
Bday. Regarding that. I'v got to meet: Sheryl. Joey, Huimin, Heng. Buds. Valerie. Karen mayb. (If u see this karen, dun get mad. Coz i din giv u anything last yr so u dun hav to *po fei ok?) Optional: Judy, Marg.
Val. Being the almost the most imp person in my life, ironically the 1 that disappointed me the most as well, might nt be able to make it. I doubt she even remembers coz she's so bz wif her stuf that she cant reply my msg, well done. Everything i plan, it always has to b wif her, am even willing to sacrifice my bday n celebrate the day b4 wif my fren. But the efforts seem to b ending in vain. She told me almost everyday next wk she'l b bz, so ya ok.. Its reli ok. I'v tot it over alrdy. I'l forget everything that ever happened in our past, if she doesnt turn up. Am very determined too.
Marg. Its been almost half a yr ago she promised me tis birthday, she would do a gd 1 for me, to repay wat i did for her on her bday last yr. Bt due to the growing distance btn the both of us, i doubt, lik val.. She'l knw that next fri is actually my bday. Or mayb juz find out on that day n wish "Hey, happy birtyday bla bla bla.."
WHY, why is it so imp that am toking so much about it. Why? Becoz it symbolizes sincerity, faith and love, that u remember about somebody's imp day n tis always brings a smile to anybody born on that day. Even if ur not close, a simple wish can bring happiness and even brighten the day. It isnt something to b taken lightly. On the whole, it shows who reli are the 1's who treasure u.
