A night to remember
What happened yesterday. Was lust, hurt then unforgettable.
Was sending her late home that night n i had everything prepared. I knw after sending her back, i'l hav no transport home, so i told Johnny i would b goin his place after sending her back.
That was when everything happened..
I walked her back home from the lrt, nothing unusal. Juz tat she bought this donut for me, n i jokingly told her if i could have it at her place. But i was alrdy prepared to have tat meal outside her place. So we went up to her place n she told me to wait outside her house. She was going in to tok to her mum. I was lik so shock la.. i told her don't! its ok and i can have it cold outside as well. Being the stubborn she, ignored watever i said n carried on walking into her house. I had no choice bt to wait outside..
Minutes later.. She came out and asked me to go in. I was shocked again la.. It was alrdy 12+am in the morning and having a guy at ur daughters place so late at night is not a gd thing. But anyway since i was offered to go in, i agreed. It isnt goin to take a long time to, since am meeting mouse ard 2am. I entered her place, took out my shoe, left my bag on the sofa n carried my hp's wif me. We heated the donuts up n then went into her room.
Her room's in the process of tidying up, so it was kinda messy, bt to me, it was fine.. I'v seen worst stuff and her room's not very bad too. So we ate donuts, had a casual tok, toking about her soft toys, her gifts.. and then we went on to more private stuff.. She told me Dave gave her a bouquet of flowers on christmas day.. Curious i was, i asked her y he gave her tat for.. And she said as a friend. 'Ok?' I replied tryin 2 sound pleased. And during all the chatting, Edwin (her ex) called several times, asking wat she was doin? y am i at her place and stuff.. Then she told me edwin has been doing this everyday, not giving her air to breathe. And from this, i finally understood y she went to dave's place. Its becoz she sort advice from him; something logical i came up with.
It is close to 1.45am now.
I got kinda tired, so i asked her as i lay down on the bed, 'Where do i slp with all these rubbish (soft toys) next to u?'
'Juz lie down on them', she said.
'No, i dont lie on shits.'
I layed down beside her. Arm's stretched out n she started to lie down also, with her head resting onto my arms. Love was in the air. She suddenly turn with her face facing toward me.. I was stunned, 'Why is she doing this?' Then i tot to myself, it might b a gd time to confess how i felt about her, since i really cant keep it in me any longer. Then i went on telling her how i felt ... ... 'Its up to you whether u wan to get into a r/s or not.'
'Not at this moment,' n she apologized..
'I've had enuf of r/s, i hate the feeling of being tied down, n having no space of my own.'
I thought to myself then, 'Will i be able to give her that?' Mayb not.. Am the kind who needs to knw, bt of coz i'l stil giv her space, as long she tels me who she's goin out wif.. I wont ask tings lik wat they tok about, wat they did lik how edwin interogated, that's crazy..
Anyway she told me she liked how we are now. I totally agreed.
'Fine', i told her, n then i got her to listen to 3 mcr songs. 'All i want for christmas is you', 'I dont love you' and 'mama'. I told her the 1st song is how i felt when u werent there for me during christmas, n whenever i was sad or feeling worst, i'l listen to the following 2 songs.. I even told her i din replied some of her msg on purpose, mainly becoz i wan to forget her, n prevent myself from getting hurt. But i still did confess in the end. It wasnt really a bad thing, at least am feeling more relaxed now.
*Yawnz.. i layed on her bed again.. Then as usual, she rested her head on my arms. But this time it was different. Our lips were so close, i had this urge to kiss her, and so i did. I went forward n placed my lips over hers. And all of a SUDDEN, we were kissing. She turned n got on my top.. I was taken aback. Her legs spread out n she rested on me. We were french kissing later. Kissed as we kissed somemore, i realized she was rubbing it against mine. It happened all too quick n the next thing i was with her. She kept asking if i was feeling it, i did felt abit, and so i said yea.. Then she sat up, pulled my body up against her as well n started to jerk. I was so into it i rubbed my hands over her butt and we hanged on there for a moment. Then she lay back onto her start position asif tired, and i spread my arms for her to lie on. And not long she started kissing me again. Her hand went down under and i told her dont, allow me to please u instead, juz for awhile.. Omg, i didnt knw y i did that too, bt my hand was down her pants the next, abit of rejection she had when my hand was on its way, bt she relented everntually. As quickly as it went in place, i took my hand out. I did lik i promised her la. Then we kissed for a really long time. I was suppose 2 meet mouse lik 2.15 n it was alrdy 2.30am. So i was lik 'hey val, i got to go..'
She ignored me n continued kissing. Her hands were all over me and i continued kissing n holding onto her. It was more than satisfying tat way. In the pass i all i wanted was to feel her every part of the body. But, seriously.. All i wanted now, was juz to kiss n love her. Not make love to her.. Suddenly i was so enlightened! Woah.. ok.. Then i kept pressing her i gtg.. 2.40am, 2.50am. And finally she said 1 last time. So we had our last kiss n i finally set off. I was really feeling great as we'r reli having fun and she is somebody i really adore. Then at the door, i bid 'Goodbye darling,' but it was weird how she replied, she told me 'Am not ur darling.' Then i juz said ok bye, n left. But when i met mouse under her block.. I started to feel lost. I kept thinking of all tat happened. How come she became lik tt, n she wasnt lik that in the past. She is so caste she wouldnt even let me touch her behind. But why now?
Awhile later, i recieve a msg from her.. 'Hey, am really sry for wat i did, sry i went overboard.' It was then i felt the sting.. I told her no worries n i understood. But i din actually! Watever tat happened, I cant make it up. 'Was it becoz she love me for it?' or 'she was using me?' more likely she was using, tt's y she's feeling guilty n apologizing isnt it? 'So she made use of my feelings.' I thought so.. Now i was deeply hurt.. I mean, 'The girl i loved so dearly, fooled wif my feelings? I never understood how this hurt felt until yesterday. Now am really lost, am feeling this hurt and i dun even feel lik asking her, muchless talk to her. i dont wan to not bring back that incident to her. As i much as i love her, i felt really guilty of taking advantage of her. i shldnt have done but stop her immediately, i thought she was in love wif me, n u knw when ppl in love get close, they get the urge to kiss n stuff, tt's y i..
sadness clouds my thoughts,
bury my concious now for i have known none.
Fallen prey to her mistake,
now bear the guilt till am done.
I really wan to knw if you really do love me, or the slightest bit at the corner back of ur heart for me.. What we did, was it love.. or folly.
But to look at things in the bright side.. I learnt something.. This could b how love felt.. I dun lust for sex or from touching her body. More of juz feeling her lik hugging n kissing for instance, those kind of moment are when we really are together, in a simple and nice way. I guess i found out something new and justifiable. I really do have something for her.
Was sending her late home that night n i had everything prepared. I knw after sending her back, i'l hav no transport home, so i told Johnny i would b goin his place after sending her back.
That was when everything happened..
I walked her back home from the lrt, nothing unusal. Juz tat she bought this donut for me, n i jokingly told her if i could have it at her place. But i was alrdy prepared to have tat meal outside her place. So we went up to her place n she told me to wait outside her house. She was going in to tok to her mum. I was lik so shock la.. i told her don't! its ok and i can have it cold outside as well. Being the stubborn she, ignored watever i said n carried on walking into her house. I had no choice bt to wait outside..
Minutes later.. She came out and asked me to go in. I was shocked again la.. It was alrdy 12+am in the morning and having a guy at ur daughters place so late at night is not a gd thing. But anyway since i was offered to go in, i agreed. It isnt goin to take a long time to, since am meeting mouse ard 2am. I entered her place, took out my shoe, left my bag on the sofa n carried my hp's wif me. We heated the donuts up n then went into her room.
Her room's in the process of tidying up, so it was kinda messy, bt to me, it was fine.. I'v seen worst stuff and her room's not very bad too. So we ate donuts, had a casual tok, toking about her soft toys, her gifts.. and then we went on to more private stuff.. She told me Dave gave her a bouquet of flowers on christmas day.. Curious i was, i asked her y he gave her tat for.. And she said as a friend. 'Ok?' I replied tryin 2 sound pleased. And during all the chatting, Edwin (her ex) called several times, asking wat she was doin? y am i at her place and stuff.. Then she told me edwin has been doing this everyday, not giving her air to breathe. And from this, i finally understood y she went to dave's place. Its becoz she sort advice from him; something logical i came up with.
It is close to 1.45am now.
I got kinda tired, so i asked her as i lay down on the bed, 'Where do i slp with all these rubbish (soft toys) next to u?'
'Juz lie down on them', she said.
'No, i dont lie on shits.'
I layed down beside her. Arm's stretched out n she started to lie down also, with her head resting onto my arms. Love was in the air. She suddenly turn with her face facing toward me.. I was stunned, 'Why is she doing this?' Then i tot to myself, it might b a gd time to confess how i felt about her, since i really cant keep it in me any longer. Then i went on telling her how i felt ... ... 'Its up to you whether u wan to get into a r/s or not.'
'Not at this moment,' n she apologized..
'I've had enuf of r/s, i hate the feeling of being tied down, n having no space of my own.'
I thought to myself then, 'Will i be able to give her that?' Mayb not.. Am the kind who needs to knw, bt of coz i'l stil giv her space, as long she tels me who she's goin out wif.. I wont ask tings lik wat they tok about, wat they did lik how edwin interogated, that's crazy..
Anyway she told me she liked how we are now. I totally agreed.
'Fine', i told her, n then i got her to listen to 3 mcr songs. 'All i want for christmas is you', 'I dont love you' and 'mama'. I told her the 1st song is how i felt when u werent there for me during christmas, n whenever i was sad or feeling worst, i'l listen to the following 2 songs.. I even told her i din replied some of her msg on purpose, mainly becoz i wan to forget her, n prevent myself from getting hurt. But i still did confess in the end. It wasnt really a bad thing, at least am feeling more relaxed now.
*Yawnz.. i layed on her bed again.. Then as usual, she rested her head on my arms. But this time it was different. Our lips were so close, i had this urge to kiss her, and so i did. I went forward n placed my lips over hers. And all of a SUDDEN, we were kissing. She turned n got on my top.. I was taken aback. Her legs spread out n she rested on me. We were french kissing later. Kissed as we kissed somemore, i realized she was rubbing it against mine. It happened all too quick n the next thing i was with her. She kept asking if i was feeling it, i did felt abit, and so i said yea.. Then she sat up, pulled my body up against her as well n started to jerk. I was so into it i rubbed my hands over her butt and we hanged on there for a moment. Then she lay back onto her start position asif tired, and i spread my arms for her to lie on. And not long she started kissing me again. Her hand went down under and i told her dont, allow me to please u instead, juz for awhile.. Omg, i didnt knw y i did that too, bt my hand was down her pants the next, abit of rejection she had when my hand was on its way, bt she relented everntually. As quickly as it went in place, i took my hand out. I did lik i promised her la. Then we kissed for a really long time. I was suppose 2 meet mouse lik 2.15 n it was alrdy 2.30am. So i was lik 'hey val, i got to go..'
She ignored me n continued kissing. Her hands were all over me and i continued kissing n holding onto her. It was more than satisfying tat way. In the pass i all i wanted was to feel her every part of the body. But, seriously.. All i wanted now, was juz to kiss n love her. Not make love to her.. Suddenly i was so enlightened! Woah.. ok.. Then i kept pressing her i gtg.. 2.40am, 2.50am. And finally she said 1 last time. So we had our last kiss n i finally set off. I was really feeling great as we'r reli having fun and she is somebody i really adore. Then at the door, i bid 'Goodbye darling,' but it was weird how she replied, she told me 'Am not ur darling.' Then i juz said ok bye, n left. But when i met mouse under her block.. I started to feel lost. I kept thinking of all tat happened. How come she became lik tt, n she wasnt lik that in the past. She is so caste she wouldnt even let me touch her behind. But why now?
Awhile later, i recieve a msg from her.. 'Hey, am really sry for wat i did, sry i went overboard.' It was then i felt the sting.. I told her no worries n i understood. But i din actually! Watever tat happened, I cant make it up. 'Was it becoz she love me for it?' or 'she was using me?' more likely she was using, tt's y she's feeling guilty n apologizing isnt it? 'So she made use of my feelings.' I thought so.. Now i was deeply hurt.. I mean, 'The girl i loved so dearly, fooled wif my feelings? I never understood how this hurt felt until yesterday. Now am really lost, am feeling this hurt and i dun even feel lik asking her, muchless talk to her. i dont wan to not bring back that incident to her. As i much as i love her, i felt really guilty of taking advantage of her. i shldnt have done but stop her immediately, i thought she was in love wif me, n u knw when ppl in love get close, they get the urge to kiss n stuff, tt's y i..
sadness clouds my thoughts,
bury my concious now for i have known none.
Fallen prey to her mistake,
now bear the guilt till am done.
I really wan to knw if you really do love me, or the slightest bit at the corner back of ur heart for me.. What we did, was it love.. or folly.
But to look at things in the bright side.. I learnt something.. This could b how love felt.. I dun lust for sex or from touching her body. More of juz feeling her lik hugging n kissing for instance, those kind of moment are when we really are together, in a simple and nice way. I guess i found out something new and justifiable. I really do have something for her.
posted by dont forget 01'06 at 1:19 am
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