I nev existed.

Was picking up pieces of me the last few days. Thought the 1 thing i knew bout love, was.. Actions.

Fell through, all that i had done..
It sucks.
Life sucks.
Love no, compassionate with none.
Misery, is it there for me too feel?
Yes, taken to heal.
Capped inside, its rotting and oozing black liquid filled the surface of my heart.
Soon it'l be over..

*So i met somebody similar to marg..

I was rushing to class from T12 to T14 when i met her ther.. So i saw her wif her grp of friends n i somehow smiled to her, thou we duno each other well, bt we were from the same secondary sch.. It was then that i thought about y i smiled? that was unlike me.. So later that day, i got her msn n tt's how tings progressed.. (this as on the wed)

So i've got her num n we toked from 1+ till 3am on sat night. Then we cont. with msges the next day.. bt i cld tel she's someting lik marg, in the sense the way their replies are to me.. totally juz replying wat i say, then hw do i make them msg.. as in make her feel lik she wans to msg n not obligated. BUT, i read her blog n, it sounded lik i disrupted her life. Thou she didnt say it was a bad ting, bt naturally i wun feel too gd about it, actually, i tink i'v got tis little feeling about her, n that came naturally.. Anyway, she gives me tis uninterested feeling, am not sure if i shld carry on contacting her everyday, to bring us closer, OR msg her once in awhile, thou its slower n less efficiently, its safe.. I'v did the 2nd option wif marg, n it din work out quite well, so am experimenting the 1st option wif serene.

Then i got tis msg from her ' Y u always msg so much 1 ah?'
I was so taken aback, so i told her 'today its maintence for my game, i cant play, so i tot of u. N ur chasing me away..' Then she said she wans to stop the habit of msging alot per day.

Is it a hint? i guess not.. she told me she dun lik sensitive ppl. It doesnt sound obvious to her, bt it seems lik she's instigating someting, Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Its that hard 2 chase somebody.. FUK. Y do gerls always get the best tings, they wait n get hooked up upon, we wait n soon we'l b left on THAT shelf.

Whats left of me. nick lacey (listening now)

Right, i juz disappointed mel by turning down her movie request tml. Haiz... that muz hav hurt, i did feel it too, coz i'v nev turned any of her request down ever.. n bcoz i gave some stupid reason that jt n mole has got the 10 day trial, n they wanted me to play wif them.. I fuking made that up.. Its true bout the 10-day, bt actually i wanted to play as well, n that $7 is seven bucks closer to my hp.. Tt's how i lied to her.. I'v always did my best, try to be Mr nice guy n do anyting for any1, but am always taken granted off, to the extend i can b replaced.. Is this wat am called upon for?
To be summoned upon request?
Wher's my pride?
What is my status?
I guess am getting off track, am confused.. But 1 ting is true, i cheated on her.. So tis is how it feels when ppl cheats on me.. It hurts, bt it wun b lik how am feeling now.. it will nev..

*Am living in a nobody's world. Isolated, redundant, unnecessary n more.. i nev existed.